11.9.06

Off Again

We are heading up to Kearney soon. I talked with the on call (new guy of course...so new he is squeaking...but he did see Dad last Thursday os he sort of "knows" of him) Oncologist who is supposed to be setting up a thorecentesis this morning. All hinging upon the INR results to be < 1.5 (if not then it's fresh frozen plasma first) and really if we can make it to all the different buildings we have to go to in order to get the treatment done. I wonder if we can.
Every movement is difficult now. Air is a precious commodity.
I listened to Dads lung sounds and the left lung is completely filled up with fluid except for a small area of air movement. The right has a few rhonci.
We are supposed to get on the road and try to be up in Kearney by 8:30 - 9 this morning. I am to call the Oncologist while on the road (cuz it takes us 1 1/2 hours to get there) and they are supposed to be telling us where to go and what to do and yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda.
I know it's going to be a cluster.
We cannot have a bunch of wasted trips here and there. Dad won't be able to tolerate it.
I hope to hell they get it set up and set up so that this will be as easy as it can be.
I doubt it.

10.9.06

Downward Spiral

Dad needs a left thorecentesis again...like yesterday really.
Why the hell we didn't already schedule it when we were at the oncologist is beyond me. It's like we are struck dumb at the office.
Of course we had the new guy...had to start over from scratch...had to do a cliff note on dads condition. Instead of getting set up for the procedure we ended up just adding Aldactone to the 80mg of Lasix per day.
Every day is a struggle now. The O2 is a necessity. Dad won't wear the portable though his sats dip below 85 percent. He is using a cane at times to walk to the bathroom..."for balance". His activity is extremely limited which in essense limits moms activity too.
There is no answer, no fix no way to make this easier.
We are waiting for Monday to call the oncologist and set up something.
DAMN IT TO HELL I WISH WE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT ALREADY!!!!!

7.9.06

Holding Our Breath

We are going to Kearney tomorrow. We missed Dads Zymeta infusion on Tuesday. We just plain thought it was scheduled for thursday. Dad needs to see the Dr. too. He hasn't had much improvement in his breathing since the last thorecentesis. His activity is very limited. He doesn't like to wear the oxygen except when he is sitting on the couch. He doesn't want to wear the portable at all.
We will take it tomorrow anyway.'
I don't know if the chemo damaged dad's heart...put him into heart failure, if the excess fluid around his lower extremities will remain, if he has fluid building up in his lungs again, if the cancer has spread, if if if if if . I listen to his lungs and I hear diminished sounds, rhonci, but I can't really tell if there is fluid in the pleural area. I just have the worst time assessing his lungs. I always have...even before he had cancer. I don't know what to do really.
I caught him smoking on the back step the other day. He says he has been. 1 or 2 maybe. I didn't know what to say really. I felt pissed and sad and yet I understood.
Nothing is enjoyable for him or for mom. He sits on the couch and "rests" all day. Watches a bit of TV, eats sparingly. He drives to town once in awile but he doesn't want anyone to see him gasping for breath so that has generally limited his errend running. He can't mow. He can barely get to the step without grabbing furniture because he's so short of breath.
Everything seems overwhelming and uncertain.