16.1.06

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Tonight I combed Dad's hair to dislodge some of the looser strands and it just kept falling out. I felt so bad because he has always had such pretty silver hair...Combed over on top of course and sprayed into place but still...Hair just the same. After that it was like we had to finish the deed.
Shave it off.
Be done with it.
Move on to the next big event.
Mom put the next to the last edge on the shaver and buzzed him. He was left with a fine fuzz all over his pate. This too shall probably fall out but it was all Mom could muster the nerve to do right now. Dad didn't look into the mirror. He just tightened up and then put on the fish hat I'd bought him years and years ago. The hat used to have a fish head poking out of the brim but he pried that off with a screwdriver earlier this morning. He just sat there with his hat on and looked sad and resigned. Resigned to life with cancer, chemo, fluid retention, coughing, weakness, poor appetite, people asking him how he is every day and every time they see him and the looks of pity he or his family may get.

I've decided that cancer is like a 3 ring circus with all kinds of acts playing at the same time eventually leading up to the big finish.
There are many big events in cancer. First of all the thought that one might have cancer. Then, awaiting the diagnosis, which involved all kinds of tests, some painful and most certainly invasive.
Each new "event" you achieve leads to some sort of a resolution and then you move on until the next event and so on and so on and so on.

You've got cancer
You must have biopsies
You have stage IIIa non small cell cancer of the lung
You aren't able to stand surgery
You must take radiation five days a week for 33 doses
You must take chemo
You must take chemo every 3 weeks for 6 doses
You must drive 1 1/2 hours every day for your treatments as no other place is closer.
You may have side effects from the chemo
You may have to take medications for the side effects from the chemo
You will lose your hair.

You Will Lose Your Hair...and so it goes.

1 Comments:

Blogger Cancergiggles said...

Mine didn't fall off - it just went thick and all the grey disappeared. No logic behind that but my self distructive treak kicked in at another time. http://cancergiggles.blog-city.com/hair_today__goon_tomorrow.htm

8:01 AM  

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